I Shall Call You Bertie!

I received an intriguing email last week from my friend and former colleague, Jerry Panas.  For those of you who do not know him, Jerry is a giant in the fundraising world and has been a leading consultant, speaker and major gift strategist for as long as I can remember.  His wisdom and rich perspectives are at the very heart of the way I view this work.

So the idea he proposed was simple, pulling from one of the country’s leading corporate consultants, Andrew Sobel.  Sobel wrote a piece called Peer or Supplicant in which he discusses a scene from a popular movie.  Sobel focused his comments on a corporate situation.  Jerry then transposed some of the words to indicate a development staff person and donor. I added some additional perspectives from inside the head of the development professional.  Follow along.

In ‘The King’s Speech‘— a truly outstanding film that fully deserves all the accolades it has received— there is a telling scene where the future king meets with his new speech therapist for the first time.  The therapist asks the Duke of York (who later becomes King George VI), ‘What shall I call you?’ and he replies, ‘Your Royal Highness the first time, and then Sir.’

The therapist then says, ‘I shall call you Bertie,’ the Duke’s most private nickname used only by royal family members.  The Duke is utterly aghast at this, but the therapist insists because in his office, he and his patients are equals.  The insistence that he— a lowly commoner— and the future king be on a level footing sets up what turns out to be an extraordinarily therapeutic relationship.

A common mistake a fundraiser makes in building a relationship with a probable donor is coming across as a supplicant or subordinate.  ‘Thank you soooooo much for your time, I know how busy you have been . . .’ is a line I have actually heard many times.

If you do not meet the donor as somewhat an equal and professional advisor, you will never be a trusted resource counselor.  Don’t say, ‘Thank you so much for all your time.’  Rather, ‘I am delighted we could meet today.’

I agree whole-heartedly.

As a fundraiser, it is essential that you approach your donor relationships with confidence.  It is absolutely critical that you truly believe you have something to offer – that you are a facilitator of good – a portal of sorts – through which the donor can express themselves.  If you approach the work this way, it will be evident in your voice, your stance, your posture and your demeanor.  The key is that it has to originate from your insides – from your heart AND head!

This insightful perspective is an opportunity for you in the New Year.  Throughout 2012 imagine yourself on equal standing alongside your donors.  Dare to fully appreciate your role and the power within it.  If you do, your relationships will bear fruit beyond measure.

“I shall call you Bertie” indeed!